A FIELD MANUAL BY JOHNNY X. NOVA
Out of Office
The Machine doesn't need you tonight. It'll say it does. It says that to everyone. Pick how long you're leaving and I'll tell you what to do with the time.
Tested personally. From a porta-potty. With the door shut.
How long are you leaving?
2 minutes
The Pocket Reset
In for four, hold for four, out for four, hold for four. Follow the dot round the square.
Two minutes is enough to remember you have lungs.
Back in two minutes. If you're still waiting, that's between you and your patience.
5 minutes
Look Out a Window
- Find a window. Any window.
- Look at the furthest thing you can see and stay there.
- Name three things out there that aren't a screen.
- Don't tell anyone you did this.
Your eyes were built for horizons. You've been making them read receipts.
Stepped away to look at something far away. Highly recommend. Back in five.
20 minutes
Cold and Breath
- Cold shower. The last sixty seconds as cold as it goes.
- Or: a few rounds of deep breathing, then hold on the exhale for as long as it's comfortable. Sitting or lying down.
- Or: walk the block. Phone stays home.
Never do breath holds in water. Never do them while driving. Holding your breath for three minutes while driving is a fucking horrible idea. People pass out doing this, so sit or lie down. And if you have a heart condition, ask a doctor before you try to impress the cold water.
Discomfort on purpose is the cheapest upgrade there is.
Currently standing in cold water on purpose. Will reply when I can feel my hands.
An hour
The Phoneless Walk
- Leave the phone at home. Not on silent in your pocket. Home.
- Walk until something surprises you.
- Come back a different way than you went.
Nobody ever had an original thought with a notification pending.
Out walking. My phone is at home, which is the entire point. Back within the hour, probably.
Half a day
The Drawer
- Phone in a drawer. Drawer closed.
- Cook something that takes longer than it should.
- Read something printed on paper.
- Make something with your hands. Badly is fine. Badly is the point.
The drawer is the most underrated piece of security tech in your house.
My phone is in a drawer until this afternoon. The drawer is winning.
A full day
Sabbath, No Religion Required
- One whole day. No screens.
- Tell the people who'd worry.
- Go somewhere with trees.
- Eat with people you like.
- Go to bed when you're tired, not when the feed runs out.
One day off won't change the world. It'll change which world you notice.
Offline for the day. The algorithm and I are seeing other people.
A long weekend
The Float, the Goat, the Cabin
- Book a float tank. Spend an hour in the dark with nothing to scroll.
- Go to goat yoga. Lose to a goat.
- Rent a cabin with bad signal. Let it stay bad.
Lose to a goat at least once in your life. It's humbling in a way the internet never manages.
Away for the long weekend somewhere with bad signal. I chose this. I'd choose it again.
A week
The Real One
- Delete the apps. Not the accounts. You can put them back.
- Keep a paper notebook. Write down what you'd normally post.
- Notice what you stop missing by day three.
Tell someone where you're going and when you'll be back. This part isn't a bit.
Day three is where it gets quiet. Day five is where it gets good.
Offline for the week. If it's important it'll still be important Monday. Most things won't be.
Forever
There's No Protocol for Forever
Forever isn't a long weekend. It's learning to see the script, and then stepping off it. That's what these four are for.
The Tier I Collection
There's no protocol for forever. There are four books.
I've disconnected. Permanently. Please direct all further correspondence to the void.